A Clown on Fire: Raising le Blogging Bar


If you suffer from Coulrophobia, get a grip.  Take your meds, breath into a bag  — do whatever you have to do to get yourself stabilized, then go and visit A Clown on Fire’s blog.

Le Clown himself.  Illustrious Author, Winner of Awards, Wearer of Patrick Roy jerseys.  Join the Circus at your own Risk.

If you’re not familiar with him already, Le Clown is a fast-rising WordPress phenom, and winner of the prestigious Alan Smithee Blog Award.  He’s the man solely responsible for Canada’s leading export, quality blog content – surpassing the country’s previous top export, maple syrup.  He’s also a surprisingly polite French Canadian (an oxymoron, I know), and a fluent speaker of both French and Frenglish.   You might be wondering how I know so much about Canada? Please, there isn’t much to learn…

When I’m not busy looking for porn on the internet, I’m usually reading through blogs – lots of them.  It’s a great way to find inspiration when (le) creative tank is running on fumes.  When I first discovered Le Clown, I immediately noticed that his material had the opposite effect on me.  Rather than leaving me with a new found sense of inspiration, I felt like a poo-head instead.  View at your own risk.  By the time you finish visiting the circus, you’ll undoubtedly want to end your pathetic blogging career.

I’m packing my desk as I write.  I’ve decided to pursue things that come natural to me from now on — things like breathing, walking, etc.  Ok, I’m no slouch, but god damn, this guy is endlessly funny — especially the comment threads.

Despite his ego being the size of the Northwest Territories, Le Clown is unlike many of the honorary members of (le) Freshly Pressed hall of fame.  As we all know, the majority of stuff on the front page is sub-par.  However, Le Clown has rightfully earned his star on the sidewalk by continuing to produce stellar content.  As a result, his viewership is trending upward, post-induction – ahem, WordPress editors, market research opportunity!

His phenomenal readership aside, engagement with fans is what I find most impressive.  Every person that interacts with his blog is acknowledged, unlike some truly arrogant players I’ve come across.  I can’t even imagine the amount of time that’s required to keep up with (le) blog.  I get anxious just thinking about it.

You may be wondering if I’m a paid promoter of the circus.  The answer is no.  You may also be wondering if I’d like to be a paid endorser.  The answer is an enthusiastic yes.  I won’t quit my day job yet…

Remember your daily affirmations, Adam S. He is only a clown. He cannot hurt you. You are a fucking winner today. Remember your Alan Smithee Blog Award.

More Clowns you Should be Afraid of:

  • Homey the Clown – Step out of line and you’re gonna get a rock-filled sock to the back of the head.  Whatever shenanigans you may be considering, rest assured, Homey don’t play that game.
  • Ronald McDonald - Don’t be fooled by this clown’s happy disposition.  He’s laughing all the way to the bank while you stuff your gut full of hamburger grease.  If you’re not careful, he might have to blow up a balloon catheter animal inside one of your arteries soon.  Would you like fries with that?
  • Carrot Top - Never trust a clown that’s going through Anabolic Steroid withdrawal.  What ever happened to the skinny goofball with the suitcase full of props?  The bigger he gets the more he looks like a woman.  I don’t get it?

A few other things Le Clown can do that you can’t:

  • Impregnate women just by staring at them — some men, too
  • Fashionably wear white foundation and a foam nose in public
  • Watch Hockey Night in Canada while his ego does the grocery shopping

*****

Very commendable effort my French-speaking neighbor to the north.  I bow to Le Clown and always enjoy your humor.  Canada, please don’t be offended by this ignorant American — he means no harm.  Besides, I love Don Cherry.

Merci Beaucoup…

 -Happy Blogging Ya Coulrophobic Bitchers!

I am a man of my word, Le Clown. Inspiration is there when I need it most. Do not ruin your upholstery with tears of joy.

    

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23 comments

  2. Le Clown

    Adam,
    I remember when Patrick Roy was one of us… The good times… And Rush might be angry with you for putting Le Clown before Geddy lee as the hottest Canadian export-as I do read between the lines… I am sharing this on my Facebook page as soon as I am at the office. Cause I like to work this way… Thanks Adam, this was very flattering for my ego. Now I will have to give my ego a name…
    Le Clown

    Reply
  3. thecheekydiva

    LeClown has asked me to host his Haiku Sunday this week. Now THAT’S bitchin!!!!~ Yeah, me! I know, you’re all scratching your head wondering how it happened. Me too, but I’ll take it. I am honored and I can’t wait.

    Reply
      • thecheekydiva

        Thanks! I’m such a dork, I really had no idea LeClown was such a LeGod until I read your post. Now I’m really thrilled and amazed that he asked me. I gave my gravatar a shiny new clown nose and mustache/beard just for the occasion. I’m pretty cute with a stash! Can’t wait to show that-and my LeHaiku LeSkills off to LeClown’s regular LeCrowd. ;-)

      • Adam S

        I’m still not sure how I feel about women with mustaches…But, for the sake of the picture, I’m sure it looks great! Post a message if I forget to pop in!

  5. Ad-libb3d

    Yep, my wife is officially pissed with you. I was supposed to be helping with dinner, but first I got distracted youtubing (is that a verb?) Uncle Buck clips thanks to you, then I came here and got lost in le Clown (a.k.a. the latest blog I’ve read that makes me feel less funny than herpes).

    To save face I had to throw you under the bus and blame the fact that I’ve had my nose buried in my laptop for the past forty-five minutes all on you. Sorry man, had to do it. Occupational hazard of being a blogger. No hard feelings, I hope.

    Reply
  6. Adam S

    Tell your wife that I’m terribly sorry, but watching Uncle Buck is much more important than eating! “I think he’s cooking our garbage…”

    Reply
  9. Pingback: I Sing the Ego Electric | A Clown On Fire
  10. SocietyRed

    I already get up at 3 in the morning to read all my new favorite blogs, now I’ll have to plan more time for this one. I know what you mean about Le Clown’s stellar work making you feel like a “poo-head” (you should probably™ that before he grabs it)…I suspect yours will too. Fuck…

    Reply

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