Champagne, Warm Lube, and a Blorgy the Size of Times Square
I’m so excited right now. I can barely contain myself.
Originally, I wasn’t even gonna post anything for the New Year, and then I thought: how could I pass on the perfect opportunity to recap, rock out, spread some lovin’ butter, and announce all of the cool shit that I have planned for 2013?
Buckle up.
Ready. Set. Launch.
2012: The Year of the Bitcher
First off, this has been such an incredible past four months. Getting all of this stuff out of my head and onto paper has been nothing short of orgasmic. What a silly word. Whatever. Creative writing is something that I’ve always wanted to do in one capacity or another, but I never really had the discipline or support that I would have liked in order to pursue it. It’s hard to imagine that only three posts into it I almost quit.
…I’m glad I didn’t.
“I’m feeling a little farklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I’ll give you a topic.” Photo Credit: johnjohnsaidit.com
I owe it to all of you insanely cool people that have jumped on board and backed me up. You’ve stood behind me each and every wacky post. I’ve never in my life had this kind of unconditional support. Ever. I’m getting a bit choked up.
No. Fuck that. Hold it in.
I know it sounds kind of cheese, but it’s the truth. Your readership, participation, and encouragement have inspired me in ways greater than you’ll ever know, and it’s you that continues to inspire the evolution of this raging monster that I call: MY RIGHT TO BITCH.
I don’t just write for me. That would be boring as hell if it were the only reason. It’s not interactive that way.
I write for you, too, and that’s why I love blogging. It doesn’t just get put into a drawer in some shitty, pleather-bound journal — it gets launched into cyber space. And after it goes live, it becomes a full-contact sport. Anything goes.
Every time I send something out there, within minutes, you guys are already chewing it up, twisting it, breaking it, spinning it, smashing it, lighting it on fire, and barfing it back onto my screen. That’s the coolest part for me. That’s the pay off. To put time into something that I love so much, and to have it all come back to me like that makes me want to keep doing it.
And for all that, I love you. There. I said it.
The Awards Shit Show
Thanks to all the people that went out of their way to drop an award off. I don’t get into all of the question answering stuff, but I greatly appreciate the recognition. If you nominated me for an award over the past month, check out the Trophies and Stuff tab, and scroll to the bottom of the page. There’s a little thank you note for each one of you guys. I can’t promise that it’ll be a love letter. You know me. I also included a link back to your page as well. Thank you.
Now please don’t send me any more fucking homework assignments.
Post of the Week
You probably noticed in the sidebar an image with the title: Post of the Week. There’s also a new tab at the top of the screen with the same header. This is a new, totally rad thing that I’m gonna be doing from now on. Fuck being Freshly Pressed. Post of the Week is way cooler.
Every week, as usual, I’ll be trolling the blogosphere in hot pursuit of one standout post – one that I think deserves to be read and recognized. There are no genre limitations. Check back often. Whether you’re here or not, I’ll be sure to let you know if you got picked.
See, this is just another one of those reasons why I should be getting a Christmas Card from you.
The Bitchin’ Blogroll
The Blogroll is finally up. Scroll to the bottom of the sidebar. Hopefully I didn’t make any glaring mistakes or leave anyone out. Call me out on it if I did. After all this stuff my brain is officially toast — mistakes are likely.
It’s kinda like checking to see if you made the basketball team, isn’t it? Many more to follow…
Guest Panel Shenanigans
Easily, the coolest picture that I’ve ever found online. Period. Watch, now I’m gonna get sued. Photo Credit: Luuux.com
Now for the big announcement. This is going to be off-the-hook. At the top of the screen you’ll see another new tab titled: Join the Guest Panel. Click it.
Read it. Sign up.
Don’t be intimidated.
I’m gonna need some help throughout the coming year. I’m putting together a series of Blogger Panels that will become part of some interactive blog ideas I have in the hopper. I can’t go into details. It’s top secret for the time being, so don’t ask me to tell you about it. If I told you I’d have to kill you. Well, maybe not that extreme. But I’d definitely have to break your fingers.
All *auditions* need to be submitted in the comment section under the Join the Guest Panel tab at the top of the screen. Please. Keep this organized. I’m sitting on top of Mt. Laundry right now. Make it easy for me.
*****
Lastly, a few personal shout outs: thank you to The Cheeky Diva for her help in getting me FP’d (sounds dirty), and to Le Clown for the guest blogging opportunities on both Black Box Warnings, and A Clown on Fire‘s Christmas Blogroll Extravaganza. And finally, thank you to Mr. Radar Nelson for the guest blogging spot on Seasons of Insanity. Nancy Grace is a Pig.
*****
Alright.
Are you excited? I’m jacked to the max. I can’t wait to start the New Year.
It’s gonna be a big one. It’s gonna be a fun one. And it’s gonna be jam packed with more profanity, shenanigans, and water-based lube than ever before. I’m glad to have you all aboard. Let’s rock and roll…
-Happy New Year, and Happy Blogging \m/
Related articles
- Blogroll Inductee – Society Red (clownonfire.wordpress.com)
- Blogroll Inductee – Bill McMorrow (clownonfire.wordpress.com)
- Let’s Have a Blorgy, Shall We? (righttobitch.com)
I can’t wait to see what you have for the new year. I will be waiting with baited breath.
Oh, Radar, you have no idea what’s in store…
This is the time for envelope-pushing. No holds barred.
I can’t wait.
Hell yeah! I like the Post of the Week deal…
I’m diggin’ on the one that I read of yours the other day. I think it’s gonna be a winner. Maybe I should make a cool ass badge, what do you think?
Happy New Year, Adam! Seems I made the basketball team – i’m short, does that mean I have to wear platform shoes from now on?!
Happy New Year, Miriam. Bring your platforms. And your A-game.
You’re certainly an asset to the blogging community, Adam. I always look forward to your fun, candid, pull-no-punches posts. Your writing style is impeccable and a pleasure to read also. Hope to see much more from you in 2013.
*raises glass* Cheers to you! Happy New Year!
And thanks for the nod on the blog roll.
Wendy, I like to think of myself of more of an Ass of the Blogging Community, rather than an asset. But, I’ll definitely take all of the above as a compliment. And you’re welcome. I think what you do is pretty amazing, personally.
Cheers!
Awh, Adam that was actually a very lovely post!! I didn’t know you had it in you!
Although the jury is still out on the ‘warm lube’, surely ice cold is much more, erm stimulating??! Anyway, have a fucking great New Year!! x
I got lot’s more where that came from. I might have to stop microwaving the lube and give it try…
Happy New Year!
Promises, promises! Yes, please stop microwaving and start freeeeezzzing!!!
Sounds like you have a bit of experience under your belt — no pun intended…
…Frisky Kitty
Haha, above the belt works too! Purrrrrr!! I need to stop posting comments when tipsy. I need to stop posting comments when tipsy. I need to stop posting comments when tipsy…
Lush!
Ahhh I made the blog roll! I love your bitching. You deserve… A certificate of awesomeness!
damnit. That didn’t work. Meh. I fail at the internet.
Cool, thanks! I’m confused about the rest of it, fill me in.
I made a button. You can put it in your trophy case. Only, I think I can only send it via email because I am not internet smart.
Send it to me!
You’re a man with some plans, for sure, Adam. Looking forward to seeing them all. Cheers and happy new year and stuff.
Happy New Year man! Look out…
Adam, you got me pumped up. So many plans and you’re so organized. I look forward to it. Happy New Year to you. All the best for 2013!
I’m glad to hear that! Not kidding when I say Buckle Up. This about the only thing that I do that’s organized…
Happy New Years!
Very happy and lucky to have connected with such a talented and nice your man such as yourself. Best to you and yours for many years to come.
Thanks Lo, same here. You’ve been so fucking awesome! Happy New Year!
P.S. Drop me a link to your blog.
Congratulations – I’ve just nominated you for….
…just kidding
I’m so glad you didn’t do the biq quit, Adam, it’s been awesome reading your posts and I’m looking forward to all the new deals you’ve got going for 2013
Wow. When I was reading that I could feel my jaw starting to tense. Thank you for not nominating me for anything!!
Thank you so much. I’m glad that you’re on board with it. It’s been a lot of fun! Buckle up your safety belt, Diane. Do it.
Happy New Year!
Adam,
Bonne Année, l’ami… And peen.
Le Clown
Le Clown,
Frohes neues Jahr, mein Freund…und scheiß dir nicht mehr in die Hose!
Adam
Can someone explain the blog roll thing to me?? I am still quite naive in the ways of the blogging world.
A blogroll is a list of people that someone reads regularly. Everyone’s is different. You’re on the list!
Does that make sense, dumb ass?
I didn’t see mine on your list, smart ass! And I know you like to stalk me! hahaha
You should have been on there…
See? I knew it. Thanks for calling me out. Consider it done.
It’s all good. I know you come around, because you comment, and that’s all that really matters.
Nancy Grace is a pig LMAO
She was born with a stupid everything. What a big mouth!
I love the way you write! You crack me up.
I’m glad that I have that effect on you!
The way you write makes me feel naughty. Naughty!
Oh, I am so giving you an award. … The Cheeky Diva Award! … Here are the rules and your homework. …
Oh, wait … the rules are: Not a damn thing! You get it just because you are fabulous.
I contributed nothing to your 2012, but I will be here to contribute something in 2013. Happy New Year, Adam!
I can dig that, Maddie. I’m not a homework type of guy. Although, it seems I’m evolving…
No sweat. The best is yet to come. Lookin’ forward to bumpin’ in to you! Happy New Year!
\m/ \m/ Rock! Sounds like your 2013 is gonna kick arse. Have a good one! xo
Hell yeah. Happy New Year, chick! \m/
No, “our” 2K13 is going to rock…
Holy crap! *I’M* up there!!!! I have no idea what the hell is going on with your blog, but I am a wonderbra of love and support for it! I’m going to have go to through that line by line to be sure I keep up with the bad assedness.
COME ON, BITCHIN 2013!!!
Are you nuts? I’m glad I ran into you. Fucking hilarious!
Although, I’m really kind of disappointed that you didn’t drop off a resume’. Do you wanna be on one of the guest panels? I’d love to bring you on board. You’re one of the people that I had in mind. Let me know. Drop me a line.
Where do I start? Probably an apology for the homework. I swear, if I were a teacher I would NEVER give any out on a holiday break. What part of “break” do they not understand? Next, I love the post of the week, but you’re going to have me adding to the list of blogs I follow, aren’t you? As with most of my hobbies, there are too many clever bloggers and not enough hours in my day! Finally, you lost me at the word auditions. My hands went clammy, my face went white and my vision went tunnel. It brings back some reeeeally bad memories.
Jean, the homework isn’t that bad. It’s kind of fun actually. Kind of like a roast. You can do no wrong in my eyes.
Did you read the articles under Post of the Week? I thought they were both really good. I’d love to get some feedback on both of them.
Keep writing. I’ll keep following. And don’t freak. It’s all in good fun. Are you interested in being a part of the guest panel?
Thank you Fuck Head for the inclusion in your BlogRoll <3 your Blogger Bitch
You’re welcome, Bitch <3 You're high-class, high-quality, and high, too. Can't wait to get the ball rollin'! Contact me. I said this already. Just reminding you again…
Yes to profanity, shenanigans, and water-based lube! Happy New Year!
Happy Nude Year!
Even better!
Adam, you are Mac Daddy of Awesome Blog Planet. Whip me. Beat me. Make me write bad checks! Happy Dick Swinging Nude Year! Mmmuuuuuaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Thanks CoCo and a Happy Nude Year to you! Mac Daddy, Daddy Mac — either way I’m warmin’ it up.
A very happy new year Adam!
Happy New Year, Snehal. Thanks for Rockin’!
It was my pleasure here!
. Kidding…We’ll all have a great year ahead!!! 
2012 got me too much…waiting for 13′s toll
Dude, you are so awesome. I don’t know what else to say. It takes a certain amount of class to make this much cussing and craziness sound so totally classy. Bravo, sir.
Thanks for linking me on your blogroll! Cheers to another year of good times and unconditional support!
Thank you Lillian, cheers to you! And you’re welcome. You’re good at what you do. It’s my pleasure to read.
Happy Nude Year!
I agree completely, said something like it myself, the response to what we right is so validating. I’ve always been a writer, but nothing was ever read. So yeah, when your work is not only read, but appreciated and enjoyed, and you get to discuss it globally, that’s amazing, that’s being a writer. So I’m glad you get that feeling too, since it’s an awesome feeling. Looking forward to all the cool new stuff you have planned… Happy New Year Adam!
Yes. The people at WordPress are smart cookies. It was a good idea — this whole blog thing. I’m excited to see where it goes.
Happy Nude Year, Sage!
lol you too Adam
God, I need to update my blogroll. It’s been over a year. Thanks for including me. I’m honored–or scared–whichever comes first.
Have been away from the blogosphere over the holiday but hope to get back on track again this week. Happy New Year, my Bitchin’ friend.
Hugs,
Kathy
Kathy, you’re a super talent — well beyond anything that I do. I’m glad to have you around! I still have your Front Porch Culture article favorited — looking to get around to it soon.
Happy Nude Year!! \M/
Your post was written with such energy, like you were running and typing at the same time, I love it! I’m another reader glad you didn’t give up blogging- I think you’ve found your calling. And thanks for answering that Clown in deutsch, that was hilarious. (I’m grateful to my grandpa for teaching me just enough naughty German when I was small.) Best wishes for the new year!
Danke schön, B-dub!
I appreciate you jumpin’ on board, and thanks for the compliments. I think I’ll be around for awhile. And believe me, Mein Duetsch is limited.
When will we be able to call you the Blog Wonder?
Hah! This “wonder” realized too late that she’d written “All the best for 2012″ on all her Christmas cards. Maybe Blogless Blunderer would be a better name for me!
Adam, you know you were the first person to reach out to me in this big ‘ol blogosphere and boy am i ever glad you did! Your humour and warmth opened up my eyes to what blogging could be,…you introduced me to some amazing writers whom I stalk regularly…you make me laugh everyday…and you promised to teach me how to grow balls…ROCK ON IN 2013 MY FRIEND! \M/
Celeste, thank you! I’m glad that we could connect too. I like what you’re doing. It’s a cool ass idea — keep evolving.
Ball-growing lesson coming soon, until then Rock On! \M/
Post of the Week: I like you better than Freshly Pressed already.
See, I told you? I’ll be expecting a Christmas Card next year. Don’t let me down.
Well . . . we’re off! Enjoy the continued journey.
Indeed we are, Nancy. Best of luck to you this coming year!
You over achiever you!
OCD…I get under my skin too, Becca!
How’d the party go?
This post had me at Warm Lube. Cause I’m wickedly impossible to impress. Well done.
That’s where it had me too. Thank you. Thank you very much!
Welcome!
Stay jacked Adam. I love your enthusiasm. Glad to reconnect with you this year!
•.★♥★Happy New Year to You & Yours!★♥★.•
Eliz
Eliz, thank you!
Thanks for the awesome compliment, yo. Have a happy and safe 2K13!
I just stumbled onto your blog tonight while killing some time waiting for my kids to get through showers. Glad they took longer than usual — sounds like I caught your place at the perfect time. Looking forward to seeing what’s in store. Cheers!
Right on, Ned! Hop on board the crazy train. It’s gonna be one fugginhelluva ride! \M/
Well shit, look at everything I’ve missed. Well, no more. Seriously, fuck it, I’m going to be here from now on whether you post or not.
I’m glad to have you around, Weebles. I admire your sense of humor and brutal honesty. I got a bunch of cool shit planned, stop back for the Shit-Show Olympics!
Looking forward to all of it, as always!
I tried to answer your comment earlier with my Nook. It’s a piece of shit. Just so you know. And thanks little sis, glad to have you on board!
Glad you didn’t quit after three posts…my reader is much more entertaining with your bitching!
Happy New Year…I know it’s January 9, but had to get one more in there! I just like saying it.
Thanks Ms. Wordy. I’m enjoying it thoroughly. Happy New Year to you!
God help 2013 when you get a hold of it…
I got 2013 by the balls. Er, wait. That sounded weird. You know what I mean.