First of all, Fuck you for making me get out of bed before 3pm on a Sunday *morning to say Happy Birthday. Second, I don’t work well under pressure. You gotta tell me these things sooner. I didn’t even know Canadians celebrated birthdays until today.
I’ve been running around town all morning trying to find a keg of bubbly water, a hot tray of Poutine, and an embroidery shop. This ain’t the first party I’ve planned, but it’s probably the most challenging thus far. You have very *specific tastes, my friend — like an emperor or something.
To add to the last minute stress, the guy at the embroidery shop was being a dickhead. He was giving me a hard time about using the number 9. I don’t know what the hell his problem was, but according to him, some Richard dude used to wear it. Never heard of the guy…
If it wasn’t for your Birthday, Eric, January would be a complete waste of a month. As a matter of fact, I was considering petitioning to have it removed from the calendar altogether. I think it’s worth keeping now. The month of January will hereby be dedicated to your life and living legendness.
You and your ego, my friend, are a seemingly bottomless well of creative ideas, and you’re doing a fine job of making the rest of us look like a bunch of slack-off assholes. You and your hoighty toighty blogroll extravaganzas, Monty Python-ish fanclubs, photo-shopping, Dear Abby Advice Columns, Twitter-ing with the fucking CEO of WordPress…
A very Happy Birthday to you, Monsieur Eric! And a bitchin’ Birthday salute!!
- Le Birthday Clown (wordsandotherthings.wordpress.com)
- Le Clown and Nancy Drew Walk into a Bar… (lamentsandlullabies.wordpress.com)
- Can Clowns Hire Clowns for Their Birthday Parties? (25tofly.com)