The End of My Right to Bitch…


What?!  You’re pullin’ my leg!  Say it isn’t so, Adam?!

I’m sorry.  It’s true.  After the week has concluded I will have purged every last ounce of negativity and whining out of my frantic fingertips, and My Right to Bitch will be no more.  Bankruptcy has been declared.  Liquidation has begun.  The podium mic unplugged for the last time…

Bonnie Raitt has absolutely nothing to do with this post.

Bonnie Raitt has absolutely nothing to do with this post.

Ok, let’s not get all overdramatic about this.  I’m not going anywhere.  Yes, I’m a bit choked up about the decision, and it’s  a bittersweet one, but it’s time for a rise in consciousness.  Sort of.  The direction of the vortex has been reversed, and new and exciting horizons are on the…uh, horizons.  Wait, that sounded stupid.  That doesn’t even make sense?

I’ll come back to it.

Here’s the deal:  Daddy needs a new name for this domain.  The catch? I’m not gonna be the one to pick it.  That’s your job.  I know, I know – like you give a rat’s ass about naming my blog, and probably wondering out loud, “what’s in it for me?”

Oh-Ho-Ho!  I’ll tell you what’s in it for you!

The winner of the name my blog contest will win an all-expenses-paid trip, including airfare, hotel, and deluxe accommodations, for a 6 day, 7 night trip to Cancun, Mexico.  You will be stayimg in a presidential suite at the fabulous Mayan Palace resort, furnished with a golden toilet and lots of chocolate and berries and stuff.

Hahahahahaha!  Yeah right!  Who do you think I am, fucking Oprah Winfrey?

Yeah, you're definitely not going there on my dime...

Yeah, you’re definitely not going there on my dime…

Ok, for real this time:  The winner of the name my blog contest, as it is will be officially known by, will earn a guest of honor spot, right here, where you will be Comedy Central-style Roasted by yours truly, and become part of the last ever My Right to Bitch rant.  This will probably be in history books one day…

I’ll be experimenting all week long with some sucky titles that I had in mind already, as well as revisiting some memorable posts and interactions with a ton of faithful followers.

Keep in mind, we ain’t ditchin’ the parties around here, and my brand of humor ain’t part of the liquidation process either.

Here’s the new tag for a little bit of inspiration:

“Rooftop Keg Stands. Pyrotechnics. Unruly House Guests. An Occasional Orgy, and Rock and Roll.  Grab a Cup. Five Bucks at the Door.”

So, put your thinking caps on and drop your best ideas in the comment section throughout the week..

I’m counting on you.  Tick, tock…

- Happy Blogging \m/

158 comments

  1. Le Clown

    Adam,
    Le Clown will not be partaking in this magnificent™ contest, but wishes all contestants a gruesome and bloody battle, à la Hunger Games, with only one living survivor. I know, I’m awesome that way.
    Le Clown

  2. Tom (Aquatom1968)

    I’m pleased to hear that you aren’t going anywhere, Adam, after I only recently started following you! Which sounds creepy now, reading it back! I’m trying to think of a new name for my own blog, but I’ll see if I can come up with one for yours too, over the next few days…

  3. Jean

    So after dropping scrambled egg on my keyboard (oh yes I did) . . . glad to hear you are not leaving.

    You have no idea how hard it was to come up with the name of my own blog. Someday I will post that story, because it is mildly funny. Okay, probably less funny than stubbing your toe, but it will be a cleansing experience for me. Anyway, my experience has been that anything I can come up with has already been taken in some form AND another. Good luck, and will this mean I have to re-follow you, or how does that work for your faithful readers?

    • Adam S

      I like your name, It’s original. And please share the story!

      I know, its a frustrating process. Plus, I think that once a domain has been used, it can never be used again – which doesn’t help. I don’t think you’ll have to re-follow. I have a plan! Well, not really, but I think I know how to change a domain name…Stay tuned!

      • Jean

        I’m big on wordplay. Why? I don’t know. So of course I’m thinking on the whole Adam and Eve thing. If you were going to start a DIY home remodeling blog, I’d say how about Adam and Eave. But I gather you aren’t. Thought about Adam and Peeve. But wasn’t that one of the ghosts in Harry Potter? Mechanical? Adam and Sheave. Fashion? Adam and Sleeve. Textiles? Adam and Weave (or hair I guess) Travel? Adam and Leave. Body Building? Adam and Heave. Erotica? Adam and Conceive (weak, I know). So it’s not that I haven’t been thinking. I just need to have a nice glass of Chablis to relax and ponder this.

      • Adam S

        Those are all funny as shit actually! “Adam and Weave”.gets mad props! Drink some wine and pop back in, you’re well on your way to the roast throne, Jean!

  4. twindaddy

    Adam,
    I’m not entering the this Unshitty™ contest, but I just wanted to say I like that you’re moving on from the negativity. A good rant is always soul-cleansing, but focusing on the negative all the time just makes you see the downside to everything. I’m glad you have a new outlook on life.

    And before I go, I’d like to say fuck you for making me get all sentimental and shit. Especially when talking to another guy. Asshole.

  5. mairedubhtx

    I will watch with interest the renaming of your blog, but alas, I cannot participate, as I had enough trouble naming my own blog. I’m not exactly thrilled with my own, but it aptly describes it so I’m sticking with it. The point being, I only had one blog name in me and that has been used up, so I wish you well in renaming your blog and and wish all those who participate good luck and may the best person win.

  6. becca3416

    I’ve thought about the idea of changing my own name, but I am not as ballsy as you. Although 25toFart was a good consideration. Here are some more of my cents for you:

    Club Adam (just kidding)
    My Right to Pregame
    Party’s in The Back
    Don’t Fall Asleep With Your Shoes On (kidding again)

    Did I win yet?

  7. Katie

    It’s a sad day… But I apologize I can’t be of any help. It took me weeks to come up with Sass & Balderdash, and I’m pretty sure it depleted my blog naming capabilities. I’ll try to keep it in the back of my mind on the off chance I have a blogpiphany.

  8. The Bumble Files

    No more bitching! Oh! Where can I go to bitch now?! I understand, Adam, it’s about growth and progress. I haven’t drunk from a cup in awhile…I’ve got one for you. About “The Backdoor” or “Backdoor Pass.” Catchy, huh? Just admit it, I win!

  9. calahan

    This sounds like a good idea, Adam. Your blog name definitely pigeon holes you into ranting and I’m sure you’re more than just that.
    My suggestions, so far:
    “Adam’s Rib (For Her Pleasure)”
    “Adam Good Blog” …a damn good blog? Get it? Okay, scratch that one
    “E Pluribus Adam”
    “Come On In, It’s Not My House”
    “Too weird to live, too rare to die”
    “Bazooko’s Circus”

  10. lillianccc

    I saw the title of this post in my email and the only thought I had was, “why is Adam celebrating April Fool’s Day early?” Yeah, don’t think you can pull the wool over MY eyes, mister.
    Anyways, glad to see this turnaround of positivity! It’s early in the morning here (aka before noon) so my brain isn’t quite up to speed yet. My thoughts so far:
    Take It or Leave It –> still got some attitude in it, don’t you think?
    Just One Big F*ckin’ Party –> I don’t need to explain this one, do I?

    • Adam S

      I like the latter the best. C’mon, this ain’t gonna change over night, Lil? I’m in like a twelve step to positivity mode right now. And I’m on step 1.5. Aye…

      Keep them coming, I’m glad to have you playin’ along!

  11. singlegirlie

    Shit, you scared me for a second there. I thought, damn, that was fast. (Not the first time I’ve thought that.)

    I dunno what you should call it. I don’t know why you’re renaming it, actually. I’ve Got My Hand on My Boob. Sorry, that’s not a name suggestion. It’s just what I’m doing at the moment.

    • Adam S

      It’s gonna be the same brand of humor, plus little bit of the inspirational stuff too. Some funny stories, bad Fotoshoping…I’m looking for something kind of open-ended – something catchy and original…

      Check out Weebles and Calahan’s suggestions. Actually, there are a lot of really good ideas on this thread!

  12. talesfromthemotherland

    Love that you’re switching it up. “My Right to Evolve,” keeps the option to bitch, wax poetic, or host beer parties open…
    Or, “My Right to Love Becca,” (Just kidding… but hey, really).
    If my selection is chosen, I refuse to be roasted. Won’t do it. But feel free to use the name anyway. If it suits you. And all. Nice idea Adam; good luck!

  13. iRuniBreathe

    Love this! A change of blog is a change of Adam: all in an even better way. I know you will keep up with the funny, but I have a strong feeling you have more up your sleeve than just the bitchin’.

  14. Madame Weebles

    Wear Your Jock and Grab a Cup
    Beer Goggles
    Whose Bra Is This?
    Is That a Keg Tap in My Pocket or Am I Just Happy to See You? (okay, that one might be a little long) (“That’s what SHE said!!”

    Don’t mind me, I’m evidently not well today.

  15. Pixie Girl

    I like how you asked just for *best* ideas ;)

    Now that I feel positively insecure, I’ll go away and do my thinking in quiet and only come back with a wiener! Weiner? Dammit… Winner!

    • Pixie Girl

      Also, this isn’t even remotely funny, but I came up with ‘Adam’s Pears and Apples’. Those being… anything, potentially. Kinda sounds gross. But applicable if you suddenly turn to blogging about farming, too. Organic is trendy.
      Also: ‘I told you so.’
      Also: ‘That’s what she said!’ (which I see Madame used in her long suggestion so I will cede my right to the award if it’s chosen)
      Also: ‘Does anyone else smell…’

    • Adam S

      See? I’m on to something I think. Everyone is talking about wieners and sex after the Le Clown male parts party…

      Anything, gimme anything. I need a little inspiration!

  16. Wendy Brydge

    So glad you’re sticking around, Adam. I’ll admit it, I experienced a split second of panic (just a split second, you understand) when I saw this post. But this is a great idea. Sometimes you don’t need a huge change to make a huge difference. You have so much more to contribute than bitching, Adam. Although the bitching is pretty damn funny.

    Can’t wait to see what’s next.

    • Adam S

      Thanks Wendy, I’m excited to get started. I’m thinkin’ about some hardcore page changes too. Like a whole new skin…

      …We’ll see! Thanks for always hangin’ out around here. I’m sure I’ll still have a rant or two ta spew!

  17. Jen and Tonic

    When I first started reading the prize I was like, “Who is this guy? Oprah?” Seriously.

    My suggestions:
    “Adam, Read Fresh”
    “Adam Charms. He’s magically delicious.”
    “Adam’s Apple – The forbidden fruit”
    “Adam bomb”
    “Absurd is the word”
    “My write to bitch” (see what I did there?)
    “The Salty Scribe” (that one is my personal favorite)

  18. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    I love your ‘Bonnie Raitt has nothing to do with this post’ & I love your ‘start bitching’ :)

    I didn’t know what you were talking about at first – some kind of a decision – but now realise you can’t keep your blog name.

    I don’t know, hmmm.. Your theme appears to be bitchin’. How about…

    - The Toxic Cocktail
    - Bitch Crossing Ahead
    - Mada played backwards
    - Rantville
    - gay Rumours
    - Bitchfest
    - Leave Your Head at the Door
    - Politically Incorrect Bitchin’
    - Yours Bitchily
    - Bullshit, I Own It

    Ah, you’ll think o’ something :)

    Loved your post! N.

  19. Maddie Cochere

    Butt Hunter, of course!

    Seriously, I’ve been out of blog action for almost two weeks now (except for a little blip today). I’ll be back this weekend to read comments and add my two-cents worth for a title! So glad to read your direction is on the move.

    • Adam S

      Love it! Winner!
      No prob, Maddie. I’m having a hard time keeping up now too. It’s hard to balance work and play AND read everyone. I fell of a few weeks ago and don’t even know where to start now…

  20. Vanessa-Jane Chapman

    Ok, my suggestions are categorised…

    SITCOM RELATED:
    - Bang, Zoom, to the Moon, Adam!
    - What You Talkin’ ‘Bout Adam?
    - Adam’s Place, Where Everybody Knows Your Name

    BEER RELATED:
    - Best Served Chilled
    - A Pint of Adam’s Best

    RANDOM:
    - Adam’s in Da House
    - RSVP Not Needed
    - Chez Adam
    - Welcome to the Cheap Seats
    - What happens on Adam’s Blog, Stays on Adam’s Blog (Ok, that one’s a bit long, but it could be a tag line!)

    I may have more later…

  21. SocietyRed

    Adam,
    I had to come up with something so here it is.
    Something actually good may come to mind; if it does, I’ll send it over…
    “Adamanomaly”
    “Leaving Motor City”
    “Adam in Transition”
    “Bitching: Down a Notch”
    “Whiners Need Not Apply”
    Red

  22. Fat Bottom Girl

    “Pocket Pool”
    “Queef Commentaries” (is that one too crude??)
    “Bedtime Stories”–grandma reference, because how cool is your grandma??
    “A Pack A Day”–don’t know how much you smoke, but that’s about what I smoked when I did, unless I was drinking, and then it was more like 2 packs!
    “I Am A Closet Republican”–hahaha, I am an independent so I vote for whoever in the hell I want to!!
    “Sunshine and Flowers and Shit”–I put this on here, because seriously, how do you write a blog that doesn’t involve any bitching?? No more curse words either?? I won’t even be allowed on the damn thing! hahaha

    • Adam S

      Thanks, yo! You’re all good. You’ll always be welcome here! Bitching is part of life. I will never be able to stop dropping F-bombs haha!

      And, by the way, the queef commentaries is the standout! Dirty, dirty girl..

  23. dropdeadundergrad

    Adam, I’ve been following your blog for months and only today did it actually click that YOU ARE A DUDE!! Shit. I feel like an idiot. I even read the little blurb on yourself and still I imagined reading every single one of your posts in a female’s voice (Even though there’s an accompanying photo!). Glad to hear you aren’t leaving; I enjoy reading your stuff for a good pick me up!

    • Adam S

      That’s without a doubt one of the funniest things I’ve ever read on here! How! How?! It’s cool though, and I appreciate your kind words very much. I’ve never seen you around, but I’m glad to know that I have a positive effect on you; even if it comes at the expense of Suze Orman’s teeth…

      Rock on! \m/

  24. Lady Lovely

    Oh, I love challenges.
    “Adams fine mess”
    “Protesting Adam”
    “My right to build/prosper”
    “Adams not a shrew”
    “Accepting Adam”
    “Discerning life”
    “Discerning Adam”
    “Judicious Adam”
    Hands down, I win. Even though the contest is probably closed, in my head, I won.

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  27. pouringmyartout

    I can see already why Hotspur is pimping you out like a not-so-cheap ho.
    So how about;
    Hoblog
    Hodown
    Spank that monkey blog
    Outlandish
    Blog off
    Good Bloggy
    Good bloggin’ gone bad
    Blog in the fog
    Bog blog
    Brickinthewall
    Green eggs and shit
    Thisblog
    Who invited you
    Towhomitmayconcern
    Get off my blog!
    I got your blog hangin’
    The blog’s the thing
    Soggy bottom blog
    Back that blog up
    Toasted nuts
    Crack squirrel
    Kiss my blog
    My eyes are up here
    You only love me for my blog
    crackho
    Bottoms up
    Stick this in your comment box and smoke it
    Ronin Blog
    Hot and nasty
    free sex
    Big Boobs
    A unicron farted and all I got was this smelly blog
    To blog or not to blog, that is the question
    the question
    the answer
    questions and answers
    Blog this!
    What the hell are you looking at
    Got balls?
    Whack a mole
    Blogparty
    Free beer
    the occasional orgy
    I know my rights
    the chimney sweep
    Sorry, that is all I could come up with off the top of my head… that wasn’t a name for the blog… but maybe it should be… I have to think about it.

    • Adam S

      Wow, dude. Where were you a couple weeks ago. I woulda gladly tossed you on the coals!

      Thanks for all the suggestions. You wouldn’t believe how long the list is right now. It’s getting to be a bit ridiculous. I wrote down a bunch of keywords outta that pile. That’s how I’m Rollin with it. Like, a lexicon or something.

      Pop back in for an upcoming party! \m/

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