YouTube Troll Hunt Update


Ahoy, mate!

I’ve been scouring YouTube for nearly a week now with only a few nibbles.  I think the trolls are picking up on my Google+ account scent.  I realized just yesterday that the reason I haven’t had any luck yet probably has to do with the fact that I have a gigantic billboard on my Google homepage that reads:

HUNTING FOR YOUTUBE TROLLS!!!

*Headslap*

However, that aside, I’m finding that this troll-hunting business is a very delicate procedure; kinda like extracting a sliver from underneath the fingernail. If I act too aggressively and/or use attack words like, shit head, bastard, or jerk-off, I put myself into the aggressor category, thereby nullifying the entire mission and turning myself into a hypocrite.

But who cares about that shit.

The Justin Bieber Jungle is a hot spot.  I’ll continue looking there for now, and pray that I don’t contract a nasty case of Bieber fever while I’m at it.

Vince Vaughn Doesn't Use Ointment

And also, here’s a short list of really gross words for some reason:

1.)  Moist

2.)  Ointment

3.)  Masturbate

4.)  Chaff

5.)  Scabies

6.)  Smear

7.)  Donkey

8.)  Goober

9.)  Pudge

10.)  Smut

11.) Canker

Why end at 11 you ask?  I think that’s a good place to stop for now.  Wait, before I go, maybe I should try using them all in a story:

My neighbor decided to masturbate to some smut involving a donkey, but the goober started to chaff, causing a canker full of scabies to form under his pudge.  So, he went to the drug store and purchased some ointment to keep it moist.  Just as he began to smear it on his pencil, the person writing this story decided to vomit.

Oh yeah…

12.)  Vomit

Ok.  I’m done.  Back to the hunt.

\m/

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38 comments

  1. My Muted Voice

    Don’t get Bieber fever as I hear there’s no antedote. Why does everyone hate moist? Is it because of how you have to pucker your lips to say it? ;-) Seriously, I’ve asked this question before.

    • Chowderhead

      Slayer is the only cure. And an orange. You know what, many people have raised that question before. I think it’s the “oi” sound. It’s awkward on the lips and neck. If you have joules, you’re gonna dislike it even more.

    • Chowderhead

      Pixie, what up! Long time no see!

      My presence on YouTube is pathetic, to be honest. I only have a couple of videos – including one of me blasting a Toledo pothole with my tire…

      If you’re interested, it’s called “fucking pothole”. It’s the only one of it’s kind on the net. \m/

    • Chowderhead

      Thank you, I’m wearing some Pantera cologne and a garlic necklace to be safe, so I should be alright. Oh, and make sure you remember this list because you really shouldn’t use any of them in public because of the likelihood that they may cause you or somebody else to hurl.

  2. aaforringer

    Wonderful sentence, maybe you should edit your post. Which I personally hate going back to an old post and editing, but in this case maybe you should. (not a single one of those words bother me, but then again I was in the Infantry and we had this game called Gross Out, which included eating MREs, and the verbal gymnastics of 18-27 year old guys [emotional age 13] who had not bathed in a couple of days, carrying rifles and had not been around the civilizing influence of the fairer sex for an equal or greater number of days as the lack of bathing) (mathematically it would be MRE+M (13) X D+T (D=>) = Gross Out)

    • Chowderhead

      You know what? First, thank you, and second, I think I’m going to go do that right now. Why not? I think I would have fit in great with your infantry buds. Speaking of the gross out game, would you like to play right now?

      • aaforringer

        No, I am a little out of practice and not at the top of my game anymore, I shower regularly, instead of a rifle I carry a handgun nowadays so I am sure I am a shadow of my former self in that regard.

        Although my inner Infantry man comes out now and again, like the other day I had just had a disagreement with my mother and my wife was talking about forgiveness, and she said “well just take what your pray for yourself and pray those same things for your mother.” I asked my wife. “You think I should pray that my mother gets a bigger wedding tackle.”

        The inner Infantry man comes out occasionally.

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