The Blog Hop Starts Here!!!


In case you missed the Blog Hop backstory, you can read about it HERE.

The goal was to demonstrate that an episode of either Anxiety or Depression can in fact have an application:  awesome, and sometimes downright hilarious fiction.  Why not laugh at the quirks?  Sitting around and crying into a bowl of chicken noodle soup never did shit for me personally.  Everybody on the tour has had some kind of experience with either, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we also know how to write some kick ass fiction.  Screw the label.  Screw the stigma.  At the source of it all is an active imagination, and a fabulous fictional tale awaits.

There are twelve writers ahead of me today, with each of them featuring the next part of this highly outlandish tale, and each post is around 200 words. Here’s a double shot of humor to go along with your morning espresso.

*kicks door down Chuck Norris-style*

Set.  GO!

The Most Outlandish Tale About Anxiety and Depression Ever Told

So anyways, I was meandering around the mall the other day, bags in hand, when I accidentally ran into this little elderly lady with white hair.  We literally ran into each other.  Clumsy me.  We were both very apologetic toward each other after the bump-in however, and immediately went our separate ways.

A short while later, I accidentally bumped into the same elderly woman while in a different outlet store, only this time I was in a hurry, so I ran into her pretty hard – like, she was on one leg at some point and almost kicked me in the face as she was tipping backwards.  The woman was less apologetic this time as she adjusted her knee-highs, but managed to eek out a half-grin before we again parted company.

I was starting to grow a little bit paranoid at this point, hoping that I wouldn’t accidentally run into her again.  I started thinking about all these crazy what-if scenarios, and my head turned into a washing machine of bad thoughts…

What if she had a contagious skin infection?  Maybe I should find a bathroom and scrub my arm?  What if we keep bumping into each other for a reason?  What’s the reason?  Maybe she’s my soulmate? WHAT IF SHE WORKS FOR THE MOB AND SHE’S GONNA FUCKING KILL ME IF I BUMP INTO HER AGAIN?!

I had to get out, and quickly.

My fragile existence was now at stake and…

…THAT LEG WAS PRETTY HAIRY TOO NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT!

I dashed out the mall entrance door and threw my bags in a nearby bush…

Continue the story by clicking here

28 comments

  1. Pingback: the most outlandish tale about anxiety and depression ever told | Bring Me the Head of David Dixon
    • Chowderhead

      I know!! It turned out awesome! We all just read it for the first time – everybody only got to see the post before their own.

      I’m passing it to anyone else in the group who wants to host. I’m game, and I say whoever wants in is welcome. This was so fun and I’ll keep you posted!

  2. R. C. Black

    Holy sh*t that was fun. Funny too. Pathos when needed, comic relief of the Neurotic and anxiety aplenty. David’s finale was perfect. I just grinned. Just KNEW that Supermarket People were potential serial killers.
    Adam that was so much fun. Can we do another? Can we Can we Can we?
    Are we there yet? How about now? How about now? Hey Adam, can we -WHACK-.
    Deanna will you pass me the crayons?

    • Chowderhead

      I should just copy/paste the first part of your comment. Writing on the fly is so fun to me, and it was cool to see everything work! We’re definitely doing another one – new topic, new host. I’ll keep you posted. I think we’re on to something here…

  3. Eva

    Haha!
    I’m so pleased to be a part of this. Thanks, Adam. You’re a clever one. Count me in with the next tale… I’m much calmer now.

    • Chowderhead

      I’m glad you could hop on board with it! Your piece turned out awesome. In a sick way, it was hilarious. I think many of us can relate to those moments haha. You’re definitely invited to the next one – I think one of the Tipsy Lit chicks is gonna do it soon, so I’ll keep you posted \m/

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  8. jaklumen

    Well, I see this was a fictional writing prompt, but if I may chime in with a tidbit of non-fiction reality:

    This is, after a fashion, a situation I’ve had to deal with. Nah, not grannies slamdancing me at the store, but just… well, I deal with complex PTSD, and sometimes, I run into people that just give me the willies, and inside, my head is screaming, “NOT SO CLOSE!” especially if it’s someone behind me in the line and I can feel their breath or something like that. Thankfully I’ve never yelled it out loud.

    I’m grateful to have slightly saner family members with me most of the time (they are all crazy too, though)… but I will have to remember this series of stories, as in that I can imagine they are some tough old broad or a Punk Rock Gran.

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