I have a Dropbox account, which if you’re not familiar, is a file sharing account for really big attachments. Standard email is to envelope, as Dropbox is to dump truck. Get it?
Anyways, I signed up for an account a couple months ago and used it one time only to forget about it. But I ran into a situation recently where I needed to send and receive a few big files with somebody, so I tried logging into my account one afternoon.
So I went through that mildly irritating password recovery procedure, which was a red flag, because I use the same password for everything that requires a password, because I have a hard time remembering fucking passwords. It turns out that I wasn’t using the wrong the password in fact; I was using the wrong email address and attempting to log into somebody else’s account. Somebody who used one of my email addresses to create it…
…Somebody by the name of Felicks Wolski.
There it was – staring at me in the eyeball from the top right corner of the screen: “Hello, Felicks Wolski”
I had successfully hacked into what was technically, my own account. And also who the fuck is Felicks Wolski?
I felt violated – like I was internet raped or something. Some Austrian man hijacked my email address in order to create his/my/our account.
Or is it possible that there is somebody else who was assigned the same address, and I’m now officially on a most wanted list because of my unintentional hack? Am I being reasonable in assuming that this man is from Austria? Does he probably have mutton chops because of his specific geological location?
I’ll never know the answers to these questions.
I can only assume that this is an alias being used to conceal the identity of a Nigerian Lottery Sweepstakes employee of some kind, because you spelled Felix wrong, and there is no reason to use somebody’s email address when there are many still available.
Here are a few suggestions, seeing that you’re having a difficult time creating an email account on your own:
In the meantime, my fruitless Google search continues in order to uncover the true identity of this shadowy email address-stealing person. I may never discover the true origins of the elusive, Felicks Wolski, or his motive behind opening a large file sharing account. But one thing I know for fact:
Mr. Wolski will not be using this account to send dick pics with, because that will definitely not require a large file.
See you in hell, you Austrian internet terrorist bastard.